Self-Harm: Pain turned inward

Surviving Pain

If you have a moment you should watch this video that I found it on a friend's facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/home4healinghearts?ref=stream.

         I have worked before with teens and families dealing with this issue. I must first note that self-harm is not the primary issue, it is in reaction to unresolved, ongoing problems in the home and family. What happens is that kids and sometimes adults  have such tremendous emotional and spiritual pain that they are desperate for help and a solution, yet they feel hopeless, like there is no end to their problem. Like there is nothing to work for or hope for. So the only solution is pain alleviation, not pain solution. Cutting, among other self-harm behaviors, is a way to alleviate extreme mental crisis. Cutting, while painful, releases neurochemicals in the brain that provide pain relief, this relieves the physical pain while also bringing some emotional comfort.  When someone does an action to their own body that is harmful that in turn releases a biological mechanism of physiological soothing, which concurrently brings about mental soothing. Anorexia is another example of doing something self-harmful to paradoxically bring pain relief.

         As you tell I'm not an expert in this area, but you don't have to be to help. A basic understanding, and a caring heart is all that is required. Those who are self-harming need someone who cares, who is willing to sit quietly with them in their pain, or come along side and fight their battles with them. Oh and another thing we can do to help, if we come across someone who has struggled with this. Possessing an awareness of this issue helps us not to judge, but to understand. Self-harm is not an indication of weakness, it shows that this person has endured incredibly pain and circumstances, and instead of ending their life, they choose something less damaging. I'm not suggesting self-harm is a good thing, its a poor strategy to alleviate emotional, relational and spiritual pain, but it is a protective effort on their part. It shows strength on the person's part by making the choice not to kill themselves or someone else.